1. Blowup Santas, snowmen, and Scooby Doo are simply not allowed. Blow-up anything, for that matter. What's next, a blowup nativity scene? *
2. Mixing big and small lights together on the same tree. Tacky.
3. Net lights... too symmetrical. If you HAVE to use nets, make sure they go all the way underneath the bush--then go ahead and pull a few of the bulbs out so it doesn't look like you spent six minutes on a warm Saturday in November throwing a net over your bush.
4. Not enough lights...let's face it folks, if you have an evergreen as tall as your house...one strand is NOT going to cut it.
5. Mary and Joseph should NOT be portrayed by Mickey and Minnie. Ever.
6. DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT have all the lights on your tree go on and off at the same time. If you can't find strands that have a twinkle effect just leave 'em on. And by twinkle I mean: MAYBE one strand going on and off v-e-r-y slowly, and placed strategically through out the tree. Please let me know if you come across strands like this. I want to buy stock in the company.
7. The only color light that looks good by itself is white.
8. If your plastic soldiers, choir members, candy canes or wise men are faded and worn, its time to rethink the whole yard thing. This goes for characters that can't, or won't, stay standing for the whole season. It doesn't look good when one of the three wise men is eating a grass sandwich or a choir member is face down in a snow bank. It looks like their gift wasn't good enough or they're really bumming about the auditions.
9. Indoors, the rule is at least 100 lights for every foot of tree. Once again, one strand is not going to cut it, unless, of course, your tree is only 12 inches tall. This should somehow be incorporated into the bylaws of the constitution.
10. Absolutely, unequivocally, and under no conditions whatsoever (indeed, this is a law) are you ever, hereto and forever more, to purchase, decorate with, or view, chasing lights.
Look away.
* I posted this on FanStory and ½ dozen reviewers mentioned Walmart sells a Disney crèche blowup.
7 Got Comments?:
hiya Julee
thanks for your sweet comment on my blog. it looks like we have a lot in common (music tastes, writing, photography/arts) and I wonder are you a Michigander also?
have a spiffy Saturday!
I think one more rule might be: Never, ever decorate your tree under a time crunch. Without question, it will look awful. Two hours, 40 minutes to go. Uh oh
Thanks for the tips--and the laughs!!
And thanks for stopping by The Writing Road!
So, tell me, what writers conference did you attend?
One of my friends has a huge issue with people who decorate their yards with both Santa stuff and the nativity scene. She says it should be one or the other, but not both. It's pretty funny to see her get all worked up about that.
I agree! And my personal rule is NEVER have flashing lights. Bright-nothing-bright-nothing - YUCK!
Love,
Julie
OMG!! I've been doing EVERYTHING wrong! Haha!
Printing your list now.
aside from the blow up decorations (which I just can't stand) I personally love to see others style or tackyness, what a boring holiday it would be if everything was decorated the same. all the same. So here's to the good the bad and the ugly (whatever your opinion of that is). just my two cents.
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